tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post4401064437923666139..comments2023-11-25T02:52:50.396-07:00Comments on Faith in Ambiguity: Already a PrizeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-52419631882865094142013-01-20T12:42:20.503-07:002013-01-20T12:42:20.503-07:00I grieved in anticipation of the first child's...I grieved in anticipation of the first child's departure - for much of his senior year in hs I was aware that he would be moving on - gotta say though, once we got him ensconced in his new life, I had a different perspective on it. When the second child went off to her new life, I was rather (yes it's true) joyful. I wanted - needed - my life back. The thing is, my life after kids in the house could not be the same as my life before kids in the house. I had changed. So, it has been almost 8 years since that second one left (with a couple of stops back here and there) and I am still trying to determine what I will be when I grow up this time. But this time? This time growing up is for reals. I have very few regrets about the mothering days but I certainly do not pine for their return. Except for wishing I had that thirty year old body and energy back - the one that was pre-arthritis and pre aging issues!Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-33200247602020974882013-01-20T08:12:51.217-07:002013-01-20T08:12:51.217-07:00You are always so wise. That is pretty much the co...You are always so wise. That is pretty much the conclusion that I reached, Lorinda. I guard my writing time jealously, but my kids and family have a mortgage on my heart. And I am told that grow fast. I talk to them about my writing process, so that they will see what it looks like to work hard on something you care about, and sometimes I read them what I wrote. I'm rambling...I try never to stop writing and always to up my game. The time and results, if they come, will come when I am ready for them, I guess.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-34368838137841541202013-01-20T08:08:06.245-07:002013-01-20T08:08:06.245-07:00Your comments always leave me so much to think abo...Your comments always leave me so much to think about. I am wondering: that stage you describe having been through, after the kids go—is that really avoidable? I mean, I do have other interests and passions, aside from my kids, but they are central because if they weren't, I feel like I would be missing so much and so much that I could give. I guess I wonder if, on one hand, I might go through the loss of them and have to re-imagine myself and, on the other, I might pine for all the involvement that I missed. Life is nothing if not an invitation to regret. So I guess I feel like their absence will take care of itself when I get there. Perhaps, though, I am naive. You have been there and I have not. You always make me think, as I've said.<br /><br />Thanks for re-contextualizing the "good blogger" thing. There is blogging as writing and blogging as a kind of social media, and I know which one I'm better at. In the end, all I want to do is write and read and be read. The fact that I have readers that come and look at what I've put here thrills me beyond belief. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have every one.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-54840868382764524502013-01-20T08:00:10.338-07:002013-01-20T08:00:10.338-07:00Ah, you're right. The sun is so good for many ...Ah, you're right. The sun is so good for many things! And, in the easy schedule of summer days, is when my writing flows the most as well. Having the time to explore, long days and fewer responsibilities, is good for the writer's soul. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-78215069653220030692013-01-20T07:58:14.862-07:002013-01-20T07:58:14.862-07:00No, it's helpful. I sort of think it's par...No, it's helpful. I sort of think it's part of a process and sort of think that I'm just mentally ill. I can never decide which. If I step back, it's a familiar place, really—that place where my standards have exceeded my ability and I have to keep thinking I'm failing for a while. I've met this place before, in other areas of my life, and lived to tell the tale.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-33242515196744557582013-01-20T07:55:36.727-07:002013-01-20T07:55:36.727-07:00Gosh, I hadn't really thought of it as writer&...Gosh, I hadn't really thought of it as writer's block, but I suppose that's true in a way. Being a mother is time-consuming! I suppose it's miraculous that any of us writes. It's good to remember that perspective.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644569152748119356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-22824770291946436902013-01-20T07:24:58.755-07:002013-01-20T07:24:58.755-07:00You are already a good writer of non-fiction! I n...You are already a good writer of non-fiction! I never miss reading one of your posts! But fiction is harder, because you're creating a new world, even if what you write is laid in this one. And I know all about what you're going through. I never had children, but my mother and I always lived together. Between 1969 and 1983, I used every spare minute that I had to write. I was working full time, but my mother would fix the meals, do some of the housework and the laundry and the grocery shopping, etc. Then in 1983 she had a stroke and I didn't write a word again until 2000. By then she was gone and I had nothing to bother me any longer, so I started writing again. So I would say, take care of your family first, because that's what you love. Nibble at the writing if you can, but if you have to, wait twenty years. Then you'll find yourself with all the free time in the world, maybe more than you want. But don't wait too long, or you yourself will be too old to accomplish anything. I personally almost waiting too long.Lorinda J Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16985567506994751475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-31786741752943364902013-01-20T07:13:18.978-07:002013-01-20T07:13:18.978-07:00I love this piece. I don't' even know whe...I love this piece. I don't' even know where to start in defining my love - and, oh, thats so me - defining my love? like love has to be defined? But I digress.....<br />I love the sunrise part. That first paragraph that you dissed - it completely made sense to me - the yesterdays that follow me around. Mostly they scream at me....<br />And, for years, I was about mothering more than anything: more than reading, more than writing, more than working, more than wifing (as in being a wife) , more than everything. And what happens when you no longer have kids in the house who need mama? <br />And, you are (familiarly) hard on yourself - What? you are not a good blogger b/c why? You don't respond to every comment? You don't make comments? No, no , no - in my book you are a good blogger b/c you reveal yourself - you take that chance - and you write when it matters and I get to have a connection with you through your writing. I always look forward to your pieces (even if they make me cringe b/c in comparison? In comparison I feel small. But that's my problem. :)Graciewildehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00142582724233027386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-89476520466392111992013-01-19T11:04:29.775-07:002013-01-19T11:04:29.775-07:0015 year old cuddles are exactly like a butterfly i...15 year old cuddles are exactly like a butterfly in your hand. Grind on Tara through the ebb and flow of your muse. Mine always likes to return with the sun. Mama Melchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09756297260590217633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-80432696595273615292013-01-19T11:03:08.082-07:002013-01-19T11:03:08.082-07:00I don't know how helpful it will be to point o...I don't know how helpful it will be to point out that it's ALL part of the process. On the one hand, that's a pretty obvious statement and on the other, you can never really see the process when you're in the thick of it--you need the perspective, the panning out that only time can give you. So, either way, not terribly helpful to point it out, but really it's all I've got other than a crap-ton of empathy... Masked Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08197019009052401812noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9209692386668184870.post-74017795307917328622013-01-19T09:03:08.434-07:002013-01-19T09:03:08.434-07:00Writer's block has been around a lot lately fo...Writer's block has been around a lot lately for many people. I've had a hard time even writing in a journal. I want to read what others have written before sharing my own thoughts. And, even then, I wonder if others will care. But, I know I need to do it. You are writing, even if you don't always share it. It's easier to be hard on yourself than congratulate yourself when you do write something. At the same time, being a mother is more important than anything else, and time consuming no matter how old your children are. You're doing a great job, and I enjoy reading your blogs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00250277334722378788noreply@blogger.com