Friday, June 22, 2012

Friday Retroflective: What To Do When Someone Gets You Fibromyalgia

Photo Credit: Morgue File by Ray Mortim

Today, I wanted to write you a long, interesting series of thoughts on internet friendships, but I didn't because it turns out that I couldn't both clean my house and write a blog post. Did I mention how much I do not recommend fibromyalgia? In fact, if somebody ever gets you fibromyalgia for your birthday, you should patently refuse to even open it. Unless, of course, you've checked it out on Consumer Reports, and yours is the kind that you can treat by just eating healthy and taking a couple of ibuprofen. In that case, you might want to go ahead and open it, just to be nice.

But I wouldn't re-gift it unless you're intentionally trying to be an asshole. Because it may be worse for the person you re-gift it to. It may, for instance, cause them to become allergic to doing laundry. That would be OK for them if they can get their loved ones to do all the laundry, so then you might want to go ahead and re-gift it if you absolutely can't think of anything else to give them and they have everything already. But they won't like it if they're very benevolent and would feel sad to see their loved ones doing all the laundry. Or if, like me, they aren't benevolent, but they can't get their loved ones to do all the laundry and doing all the laundry themselves makes them violently ill. If that's the case, get them Mono. It's more temporary.

This post does not come with my usual thoughts, links, posts or shout-outs. Nothing but the gift-giving advice. What I really want you to do is go join the conversation here.

You can get me that for my birthday. Don't wait 'til next June. I am still accepting presents for this last birthday. By all means, though, don't get me fibromyalgia. It would be awkward both because I would know you were being a douche and because I've got some already.

I should probably stop now. I'll try to write a real Friday Retroflective next week. It'd help it you came and cleaned my house.

18 comments:

  1. Aw nuts. Sorry that you're not well today. I've decided I would make my exception to having servants be to employ a laundress. Because that is a sexy word and because then the clean clothes may actually get put away.
    Perhaps you could hire a servant to carry your fibro around for you. That wouldn't be very nice, I suppose, but it would give you some relief. Hugs & stuff.

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    1. A laundress sounds very much like a lioness, only in a sexually suggestive, covered with sweat and soap suds kind of way. I shall employ one at once.

      It turns out I have to have my wisdom teeth out. They are making me be in pain, which is making me clench my jaw, which is making everything hurt and on and on....Very dull. My appointment for the consult is late July. So, the fibro is actually secondary–or primary–depending on how you look at it. I think my chickens should have to carry it around. That and wear my wisdom teeth around their silly little necks.

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  2. I believe I get this. Yep. I do. I opened a box of fibromyalgia myself a couple years ago, and didn't know it before it was too late.

    My house is a disaster.

    I hear you.

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    1. Fibromyalgia needs to be clearly labeled. This happens to so many unsuspecting people. I will send my laundress over when she is done here.

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  3. This made me giggle.

    Those bastards, always trying to give fibromyalgia.

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    1. It is very inconsiderate! I believe it came with a card that said "Whatever doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." Once I opened the card, I should totally have known not to open that box.

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  4. That was a very unwelcomed gift, but it's the thought that counts, right? *sigh* Okay, I'm back to the online store, I'll do better next time.

    Oh, Oh, do you have migraines? I found an awesome deal on those. How about chronic tics? Not sure what those are, but if you think you'd enjoy them, I'll order 'em up.

    Let me know...♥

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    1. I have migraines already, but chronic tics sound really interesting. Please don't send chronic ticks, though. They creep me out.

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  5. LOL, you made me laugh although I know that getting that would be no laughing matter. You have such a light hearted approach to it.

    Bless you!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks. She who laughs last and all...:)

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  6. I'm guessing the gift didn't come with a return or refund policy? Not even a receipt?

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    1. No receipt at all. I was told I could exchange it for Herpes, but I decided against it.

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  7. Sorry about that ... Hopefully next time, someone would send you 'happiness' or perhaps "grant-ur-wish" gifts ...

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    1. I think there is some risk of schizophrenia with that second.

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  8. I got fibromyalgia as an engagement gift. I thought that by calling that off, I could return it. Nope. It turns out I am stuck with it for life.

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    1. Fibro is a girl's best friend. Haven't you seen the ad? No? Are you sure?

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  9. I am going to send this post and the whole treah of comments to my firend who was also gifted fibromyalgia. I think a fmaily member slipped it in under the tree at christmas when she wasn't looking. hate when that happens...

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    1. Thanks for sharing (the post, not the chronic illness). At Christmas, it is best to give Lyme Disease, anyway. Much classier.

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